How I Handled Recent Weight Gain 🌱

Sunday Sanctuary #27 - What no one tells you about weight changes, hormones, and self-trust

Happy Sunday Monday love,
I’m currently in LA helping my sister move into her new home — and honestly, it’s been so fun.

I’ve always considered myself a city girl. I love waking up in NYC, stepping outside to grab a matcha, seeing dogs everywhere, and feeling the city slowly come alive with that New York energy 🌇

So in the past, LA never really clicked with me. But this trip has felt different.

It’s been over five years since I was last here, and a lot has changed. But more than anything, I’ve changed.

I think my growing appreciation for nature, sourcing, and stillness has made me see LA through a new lens.

So far, I’ve:

• Been to Erewhon... probably fifteen times in three days

• Gone on some soul nourishing hikes with my sister, my mom, and her dog

• Tried GOOP Kitchen — and yep, officially obsessed

• Watched the sun rise (thanks to EST jet lag)

All in all - it’s been a vibe

But yesterday, in the midst of my post-hike shower — I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And I noticed: I’d gained a little weight.

Nothing drastic, but enough to register.
Enough for me to pause and think: Have I been eating more than usual?
To wonder if that 15th Erewhon cookie was really necessary.

And in that moment, I felt the familiar flicker of self-criticism try to creep in.

But I didn’t let it.

Instead, I stopped. I took a breath. I reminded myself of the truth I know but sometimes forget: My body is allowed to change without it altering my self-worth.

Today’s essay is a personal one, centered on a question I know many women grapple with: How do we know we’re at the right weight for ourselves? How do we care for our bodies without getting pulled into the noise of diet culture, food rules, or disordered thinking?

Because the truth is, my body is not a problem to be solved - it’s a vessel I get to live in. And lately, I’ve been living well.

Here’s what you can expect in today’s Sunday Sanctuary:

🕊️ Personal Musings: My honest reflection on recent weight gain, my ramble on why gaining weight can feel so scary, and how I’ve reframed body image through a lens of softness, strength, and self-trust

☕️ Understanding: What is a “healthy” weight, really? The truth about BMI and how to tell if we’re at the “right” weight

🕯️ Recommending: Body love in practice - tangible ways through food, practices, and mantras to come back to care not criticism

🙏🏼 The Action Step: some expansive prompt to boost self confidence and connection

When I realized I gained some weight, I called my fiancé

Not for reassurance that I hadn’t - I had. I knew it.

Not to be told I was still beautiful - because I don’t need my worth to be affirmed through beauty in light of my body changing.

Not because I needed someone to push me or “get back on track” — I know this isn’t about discipline, motivation, or willpower.

I called because I wanted to speak my truth out loud with acceptance. And yes, while I can offer that acceptance to myself, there was something in me that wanted to be witnessed too.

And what did he say?

"Yeah. That’s life Amanda. Everyone’s body will change for the rest of their lives. We gain weight, we lose weight. It happens."

And honestly? That’s exactly what I needed.
Radical neutrality. No drama. No discomfort. Just a calm, grounded truth.

Because here’s the thing: as women, we’ve been conditioned to treat every shift in our bodies as a crisis, a threat to our worth, or something we need to publicly reframe.

• If our jeans feel tighter, we panic

• If our face looks fuller, we rush to explain why

• If we’ve gained weight, we try to “make up for it” with a long workout

• If we express wanting to lose weight,

  • we feel embarrassed - like we’ve betrayed some unspoken code of body positivity or

  • we’re celebrated by others as “the right thing to do” as we nod along, wondering about what it means in terms of how they view us now

We don’t just name body changes or desires—we soften them, overcompensate, cushion them with jokes, disclaimers or justifications.

Why?

Because we’ve been taught to tie our value to how we look and so it becomes an emotional point of conversation.

And these expectations around our bodies have always been there.

One decade it’s heroin chic. The next, it's curvy. Then it's strong-but-not-too-bulky. Fine features and then big lips. Small feet. Long neck. Flat stomach. Curvy hips.

I remember we watched this clip in my gender media class - honestly, worth the quick viewing to highlight what I’m talking about here.

The standard for us is always morphing and always just out of reach.

And yet, even knowing this intellectually ( cause lets be honest, most of you reading this are intelligent, empowered, well-read women that already know about what I’m talking about here) it still doesn’t override what we feel in these moments.

Because it’s not just that we want to look a certain way.

It’s that we’ve been told our whole lives through subtle and obvious messaging that we must look a certain way in order to be safe, accepted, chosen, seen.

This isn’t just an intellectual debate about beauty standards, self-esteem, or body positivity. It’s a deeply ingrained emotional experience, rooted in survival and a longing for safety

All around us, society praises “beautiful.” So it’s no wonder that when we gain weight, we don’t just notice it - we interpret it in the way society tells us to:

• Undisciplined

• Unhealthy

• Undesirable

• Unlovable

• Unclean

But is any of it actually true?

What if your weight gain meant something different: