How to Know Whether it's Your Intuition or Avoidance?

Sunday Sanctuary #29 - When your head and heart are at war you can’t tell if you’re honoring your body or making excuses 🧠🕊️♥️

Happy Monday Beauties,

It’s been a little while since I’ve written a Sunday Sanctuary (and yes, I know today is Monday….but still)

I’ve missed it more than I expected 🤍

The past few months have brought a wave of movement in my life, both personally and professionally. Some of it beautiful, some of it uncomfortable, all of it asking me to pause and listen.

There’s been…

• Uncertainty around how I want to show up online re authenticity vs. performative

• The urge to start something new (get ready… there’s a group program quietly forming behind the scenes)

• Struggling w/ wanting to improve and wanting to accept my body

I’ve been sitting in that space….the murky, in-between one where you’re not entirely sure what’s next, but also know the old ways no longer fit.

The place where everyone says, “Just listen to your gut.”
….Erm…okay….

but what happens when your gut is dysregulated? When your intuition feels hijacked by fear, old wounds, or past survival patterns?

I see this not only in myself, but in so many of the women I work with:

Is it your eating disorder telling you not to eat the cake?
Or is it a loving desire to feel nourished and simply eat healthy?

Is it your trauma whispering “don’t trust him”?
Or is it your intuition picking up on something subtle?

Is it anxiety making you spiral through Google for answers about your IBS?
Or is it your body pleading for someone to finally pay attention?

We live in a world overflowing with information and intensity, with new language and healing modalities constantly being introduced to describe our reactions, patterns, nervous systems, boundaries, gut instincts, attachment styles, shadow selves. (It’s…a lot 😑)

And in the noise, it can start to feel nearly impossible to discern:

• Trauma response vs. gut instinct

• Habitual pattern vs. intuitive choice

• Listening to your body vs. making excuses

• Heart vs. head

And so it leaves us with the question:

How do we tell the difference between a conditioned response - often rooted in trauma, stress, or fear - and a true inner knowing?

So we’re entering a space today where the answers aren’t obvious, but the desire to live with integrity and self-trust is stronger than ever.

P.S. I’m not a therapist - just someone who’s done a bit of personal healing, coaches other women, and has had some professional training. These tools are shared for education and reflection, not as a replacement for therapy or mental health care. Please work with your therapist, coach, guide etc ♥️

Here’s what you can expect in today’s Sunday Sanctuary:

🕊️ Personal Musings: When I realized I couldn’t trust my gut, what I do to navigate hard choice, and my guiding philosophies on intuition vs. patterns

☕️ Understanding: A breakdown of the nervous system, how patterns (even self-sabotaging ones) can form, and why talk therapy isn’t always enough

🕯️ Recommending: 4 somatic practices and tools to help you drop back into your body and rebuild trust (think: muscle testing, guided meditation, etc)

🙏🏼 The Action Step: A quick practice you can turn to to help you decipher what your body truly needs and wants

I remember when I realized “gut instinct” meant nothing to me

I was in the early stages of my relationship with my now-fiancé, sitting with the swirling question: Do I reallllyyyyy love him?

Now, you may be the kind person reading this that quickly jumps to:

Well, if you know, you know. And if you don’t… that’s your answer.

And sure…maybe that’s true for some. But for many of us, especially those who’ve lived through trauma, disordered relationships (with people, exercise, food), or anxiety - that kind of clarity isn’t always available.

Because sometimes,

“gut instinct” is actually = conditioned response.

This is my beef btw with all the TikToks and instagram posts making sweeping statements about someone’s actions (i.e., if he wanted to he would; or XYZ means this person is a narcissist etc)

Oversimplifications like these might sound empowering but they collapse the very real nuance of emotional complexities and growth.

Looking back, I can see now how in love I was. But at the time, I genuinely couldn’t tell. Not because he wasn’t loving, present, kind…he was all of that. But because I had never experienced a love like that before.

And I remember this moment so vividly: I was in my yoga teacher training talking about this dilemma, and my friend looked at me and said,
“Well… what does your gut say?”

And I felt even more discouraged. Because my gut?

My gut didn’t feel trustworthy.

At that point in my life, my idea of love was entangled with drama, longing, intensity, and instability. There had been heartbreak and repeated patterns of self-abandonment and sacrifice.

And to be clear - this isn’t a knock on my past relationships. I hold deep love and gratitude for those chapters, too. But the truth is: I had no idea what stable grounded love felt like in my body.

So when it showed up?

Of course I didn’t recognize it. It felt foreign. Different felt like a mistake and stability felt boring.

💥 My gut was saying: Don’t let him in. This doesn’t feel like what you know love is.

🧠My head was saying: Come on Amanda… he’s wonderful. You know that.

♥️ And my heart? I couldn’t even hear it over the noise of it all

This confusion isn’t unique to romantic relationships. I see it everywhere- in food choices, body image, work decisions, healing timelines.

We mistake trauma responses for intuition or confuse control for empowerment

And so much of my personal work has been about slowly rebuilding this trust in myself. Learning how to discern what’s real, what’s reactive, and what’s rooted in love.

So here are some of the guiding principles I return to again and again: