The Sunday Sanctuary #3
why I ditched the coffee, how to tell if it's taking a toll on your body, and the cycle of being beholden to substances ☕️
Good morning beautiful!
I hope your morning is off to a lovely start. If you’re in NYC (like myself) I’m sure you’re thrilled that we finally got some sunshine going on this weekend.
And for me, blue(ish) skies means
✨ a Sunday morning coffee shop run ✨
which is pretty much my favorite activity
so when I decided to ditch the coffee about 3 years ago, it felt personal…
like I was potentially giving up the *highlight* of my day.
But if you’ve followed me for a while, then you also know I’m a big matcha lover now (how far things have come 🥲)
Which brings me to today’s Sunday Sanctuary Focus:
Coffee + caffeine, my journey with coffee, how you can tell if it’s impacting your body, and why I think we should be cognizant of a dependence on substances…
And in light of some recent requests, we’re also introducing a *new* section on Sunday Sanctuaries called “recommending” - this is where I’m going to be posting some product suggestions for you all on the given topic.
Here’s what you can expect in today’s Sunday Sanctuary:
🕊️ Personal Musings - what led to my coffee addiction and how I knew it was time to stop
☕️ Understanding - how your relationship with coffee might mean something deeper
🍵 Recommending - my go-to coffee tips, low mold coffee products and coffee replacements
💪🏼 The Action Step- keep caffeine to <150-200 mg x day
So I gave up coffee
and it wasn’t fun
I used to be a 3, 4 (sometimes 6 🤭) cups a day kinda girl, so breaking my coffee habit wasn’t easy.
But let's backtrack a bit—why did it start?
a mix of disrupted sleep + needing it to feel awake/to “work” effectively + using it as an appetite suppressant = an eventual dependence over time
It's no surprise we become reliant on coffee; in a society that glorifies productivity, it's like a magic potion that keeps us going.
And so it has become *so* normalized to drink coffee every. dang. day.
Yet, as I ventured on my health journey, I actually realized my relationship with coffee was clashing with my values
If we aim for a free and empowered life, we can't be reliant on any substance. If I require coffee daily just to function, then I'm not embodying the most authentic and liberated version of myself.
Okay, I get it, it sounds a bit serious for a blog on coffee but we’re deep over here
Not to mention it was taking a toll on my physical health.
breakouts, energy crashes, and worsening anxiety
But honestly, I just thought that was my baseline because I was so used to it after 10+ years as a coffee drinker 🤷🏼♀️
It wasn’t until I read that coffee can worsen cramps that I decided to go 30 days without it.
and so my coffee prohibition began.
And to be honest, I really didn’t feel much….
So about 3 weeks into it, I said to hell with it and brought back in a cup of coffee again. AND IT HIT ME
The weird jittery feeling. The energy high and then low. The feeling oily (? idk if that’s a thing but I feel it). And the weird drive for more….
So I made a conscious choice (again) to cut it out - this time for good.
And over time, skin improved, cramps nearly disappeared, energy stabilized, and I felt more free
And several years later, here I am at 7:30 am writing this on a Sunday, running on my own energy for life 😎✨✌🏼
Okay so first thing first
Coffee does have benefits! There is a lot of interesting research on the cognitive benefits of coffee, from mood improvement to potential cognitive benefits.
But from a women’s health perspective, we see that coffee can take a toll:
🥴nutrient depletion: things like iron, calcium and B vitamins can be depleted by coffee (+ these are all important for our hormones, skin & energy!)
😵💫 increased cortisol: there’s a reason your anxiety can surge with coffee. Caffeine = increased adrenaline + cortisol = more stress on your mind/body
🥱 disrupted sleep: caffeine can stay in your system for up to 10-14 hours post consumption (which means you 11:00 am cup can still be keeping you awake by 1:00 am)
😞 fertility/hormonal impacts: research is a bit mixed, but a decent amount shows how it can interfere with fertility, impact estrogen, worsen breast tenderness and impact cramps.
but you can read all about the science here.
Plus coffee has also been testing high for mold, which means if you have histamine sensitivities, something else to keep in mind.
The other point I want to highlight that is often left out of the coffee convo is
What is our relationship like with coffee?
A QUICK NOTE: We can all make choices for ourselves, and if coffee is your jam and you are thriving with it, then go for it. This is just another way to start to examine yourself.
We live in a world that praises productivity and raises eyebrows at rest, play, calmness and leisure.
It's ingrained in our culture to think busyness = success, often at the expense of our well-being.
I remember feeling an air of superiority when I would tell people, "I’m a 3 cups of coffee a day minimum" – it almost felt like I was saying, "Oh yeah, I work really hard and am constantly grinding, what about you?"
Even though I knew that wasn’t the case, it was easier than admitting that I just felt I couldn’t function properly without it.
And so, if this resonates with you, you may want to question your relationship with ☕️
If our values are aligned with living a free, liberated, and empowered life, then how do we reconcile having our daily functioning dependent on one thing.
Then we live beholden to the external.
So let me ask you this….
Imagine that all the coffee in the world disappeared tomorrow but your life was still going on (work, parenting, etc.)… what comes up for you?
Do you feel anxious?
Do you start to imagine the headache that would come on?
Or the drained energy you’ll have to endure?
Is there resistance?
Does something more emotional surface?
🔁 Breaking the cycle of dependency on something like coffee (or weed, or alcohol, or even TV) can bring a newfound sense of empowerment and autonomy over our energy. 🔁
It allows us to reclaim control over our lives, leading to a deeper connection to ourselves.
& it calls for a reframe…is it productivity and the "go-go-go” mentality that we value? or can we start to align our actions with what we truly consider important?
So if the above sounds like you or if you’re dealing with some of the physical symptoms and nothing else seems to help, this is a gentle invitation to look at your coffee habit a little more.
Is any amount of caffeine okay?
This is personal - it depends on your metabolism, health and how you *feel* with it.
With that, most research recommend <200 mg x day.
I tend to lean on the conservative side with my clients (especially those supporting fertility) and recommend no more than 100-150 mg x day
So what does that look like?
Well while an 8-oz cup of coffee is ~100 mg, a Starbucks Venti Blonde Roast is about ~475 mg of caffeine
so how and in what form you coffee comes in matters.
To stick to ~150 mg mg, we’re talking about 1.5 cups of coffee x day, 2 shots of espresso or a mindfully made matcha or two.
and then of course we can find it in things like energy drinks, chocolate and soda, so that’s something to consider too.
So take note of where your caffeine content clocks in…are you under the 100 mg? 200? 300? Where can you start to make shifts to benefit your mind + body?
We got a few tips, tricks and suggestions to help support your coffee habit or help you break it…
IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP THE JAVA:
Wait 30-60 minutes after rising before having it (lets our body wake up naturally)
Pair it with a high fat milk like 100% grass fed milk or MALK (for non dairy)
Aim to have it with breakfast (or at least, a lil somethin’ somethin’)
Try to finish your last cup by 12:00 pm
DECAF COFFEE:
If you’re going for decaf, swiss water decaf is the way to go! It’s a method of decaffeinating coffee without chemicals (regular decaf uses methylene chloride 🤢)
COFFEE REPLACEMENTS:
again, you can read all about coffee replacements here…otherwise, here are some quick links
Matcha — Favorite Roots to Leaves Brands: Matchaful or Kettl
Mushroom Coffee — Favorite Roots to Leaves Brands: Mud Water
Chai — Favorite Roots to Leaves Brands: Unsweetened Dona Chai
Or check out the Amazon Storefront for links to the above + a low mold coffee
Now if you follow me on instagram, you KNOW I love my matcha.
MY FAV MATCHA MOMENT PRODUCTS:
Favorite NYC place to get matcha: Matchaful
Whether you’re still a coffee gal or a matcha lover, aim to keep your caffeine intake to <150/200 mg x day. This is the safest bet for supporting your mind, mood, hormones, fertility and on and on. So your action step is…
Keep caffeine intake to <150-200 mg x day
What could this look like:
option 1: 1 x 12 oz cup of coffee x day
option 2: 1 x double shot latte + 1 oz dark chocolate
option 3: 2 matchas x day (made with 1.5 tsp matcha each)
option 4: 1 x 8 oz green tea + 1 espresso shot + 1 kombucha
Or when it doubt, just be mindful and conscious, making choices that align with you.
Wishing you an energizing Sunday Reset
Written right before my coffee shop run (where I’ll be getting a matcha)
